Huwebes, Mayo 29, 2014

My Sister and Her Not Exactly Twerking Habit

Dedicated to the one and only Kiwi that I can tolerate in my life...


Despite knowing my sister for fifteen years, I never fully understood why she wiggles her butt before sleeping. She would always lie face flat on the bed and shake her behind left to right and I would always tell her to stop because it's disturbing. She'd always reason out that that simple movement calmed her and would continue. Of course, I'd always concede to her point without further questioning (either because I didn't want to start a fight or because I'm too lazy to do any major reprimanding.) We're already very close and a little butt-wiggling couldn't and wouldn't change that.

My current relationship with my sister, Patricia was totally different from when we were kids. Unlike now that I was actually bother by her little quirks, I used to be never bothered by her existence at all. Then, she was just a figure in the house that I knew so little about.

Back in the day, she just struck me as a really energetic child that could never be tied to one place. She often stayed in the streets or at our neighbor's house to play with anyone or anything she could find.

Particia = energy + outside. End of story.

But as we grew up, I learned to understand the different facets of her energy. We became friends instead of just 'filially'-affiliated people and that allowed me to take a deeper look.

I saw that she spent most of her time making other people laugh. My sister would crack nonsense jokes and showcase weird facial expressions during any time of the day.She can be a book of sassy retorts in herself. For her, being funny isn't just something she does during her spare time. Being funny is being her person.

Also, she dedicates her qui to expressing emotions. Patricia wouldn't let her feelings stay contained. She doesn't realize it but she values exposing her vulnerability because, in a way, that allows her to share her true identity. She usually does that by writing, hugging or going to a corner to bawl her eyes out. For really intense situations, she would go from dancing to reciting a dramatic monologue.

Finally, as our relationship deepened, I saw a side of my sister that most people overlooked. Sure, she's very bubbly but that's all they could deduce from her aura. They don't realize that the warmth they feel around her is anchored in something greater.

My sister is very passionate. And I don't mean passionate as in OMG-I-love-One-Direction kind of passionate (though she is a fan of that band). She's passionate because she sincerely takes an extra mile to help other people.

There were several instances that she had to shoulder my responsibilities (embarrassing as it is to admit) and whenever I would tell her that I'd pay her back, she would decline. She'd tell me that she loves me and that she believes that loving someone isn't a business transaction. You don't have to pay for anything because in the first place, what you do and what they do for you isn't accounted for. I would still try to return the favor though because she taught me how to love selflessly.

It took me a while to decipher my sister's "hyper activeness" and it might take a while for me to understand her weird butt-shaking habit. Still, I won't get tired of trying. For now, I'll leave it as the last facet of her energy: the excess that she has to release before slipping away to a part of her that only she could know.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote this as an assignment for one of my summer classes. We were tasked to write a feature article. Originally, I was going to go with PJ series but I didn't have any sleep before this and I needed a quick write. My sister was beside me so... yeah.

Martes, Mayo 27, 2014

Fictional news story: "Frost: Man of the Decade"

Jack Frost won the Best Male Animated Character of the Decade award by the Fictional Academy at Yoodel Hotel, Arendelle, Sept 28.

The actor starred in the film "Rise of the Guardians" in 2012.

He also won the Crowd Favorite award under the same movie.

Frost, along with Flynn Rider and Dick Grayson were nominated through an online voting database.

When asked if he had preparations before acting, Frost said that he had none.

"I just go with the flow and enjoy my job," the actor said.

The Fictional Artist Academy is an awar-giving body dedicated to recognizing talents of all types of fictional characters (www.fca.com).

When my Prof asked me to share a significant writing experience...

As a young girl, I didn't speak a lot. I appreciated silence and I understood that there are things that shouldn't be said. I was also immersed in my world where I learned to handle my thoughts rather than to bother anyone else with them. Besides, I preferred listening.

To someone like me, it was hard to open up to those even closest to me about how I really felt. But when things got intense, I needed to get them out though I couldn't say it. I couldn't shout and I didn't want to hurt anyone.

So I wrote.

One day, when I was about eight, I left a letter for my Dad to find. There, I begged him to stop smoking. He wasn't getting any younger and I saw how easily exhausted he was. To little Pollen, the thought of losing a father hurt so much and writing that letter made her feel that it would change everything for him.

I didn't receive a reaction from him the next day but I knew that he read it since the letter disappeared from the table.

That evening, my mom approached me, telling me that dad showed her the letter. She told me how proud she was of me for writing it and how she'll keep the letter in her novena booklet.

Sure, my dad didn't stop then and there but I'd like to think my letter made a difference.
You see, writing literally is my voice. It was, then, the only way I could give anyone a peep of what's inside. And now, though I've learned to break out of my shell, the things I write still represent deeper truths about myself.

Summer Classes: A Recap

It's been over for a while but I couldn't breathe a sigh of relief until I got my grades earlier today. I guess, that was the closure that I was looking for. 

It's finally over. Ta-ta.

It's my first time to take summer classes and initially, I thought I couldn't adjust. It was going way too fast and the things we had to do (almost) never run out. The heat was also a dragging factor and so was the idea that other people were partying while we were in school.
But now that I think of it, I think going to miss focusing on only two subjects for hours. Also, those two subjects have changed me tremendously so of course, I'd keep on remembering some summer-related moments.

For this semester (?), I took Writing for Print and Writing for Broadcast subjects. Both were challenging and despite my love for writing, I got confused at times. 

Wriprin: I'll be honest. I felt a little too comfortable at first since I practiced most of our lessons as a campus journalist. But unexpectedly, this subject taught me so much. 1) I gave me a purpose in writing. 2) It helped me with my  identity as a journalist. 3) It inspired me to write and write and write. 4) It showed me how to improve (and continue to improve) my writing. 5) It made me grow as a person. 6) It pushed me to try lay-outing. 7) It made me comfortable with working in a group and fully-trusting every member. 8) It made me fall in love with words, over and over again. 9) It taught me to trust my decisions and to continue improving so that I could earn the trust I gave myself. 
I love this subject so much (if it wasn't obvious already).

Wribrod: Right from the start, I knew that I'd struggle with this subject because I had zero information about broadcasting. I wasn't fond of watching new shows too. Also, writing for print is completely different from writing for broadcasts so I had to shift from the style I knew to this foreign technique and that (sometimes) threw me off. But, despite everything, I made it! I learned 1) how to speak like a broadcaster 2) how to loosen my writing style 3) how to adapt to different situations 4) how to act confident despite all odds.
Overall, summer classes weren't that of a bummer. I'll always have the experiences that I had and I won't trade those for anything.

P.S. I wrote a bunch of stuff for class and I'd probably share them here.

Linggo, Mayo 25, 2014

Summer Book List #2: Divergent by Veronica Roth

Dauntless Facto Manifesto: “We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.”

Favorite part of the story: Every single time Tobias reveals his soft side and hints his attraction towards Tris (yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. DAFEELSBRO.)

As I read, I couldn’t stop myself from comparing it to the movie. No matter how much I adored the film, it really can’t match up with the book. It just can’t. (But I do agree with the casting though. I imagined the artists as the characters. Kudos to the casting manager!)

In the book, I had a fuller sense of who each character is especially Tris. I discovered how her mind worked and her motivations for everything. I even understood her fears.

There were a few times that she sounded and thought like Katniss to me (when she had nightmares and when she acted tough because the situation asks her to be). She also fell in love a little bit like the THG heroine: unintentionally. They were both cautious about it except Katniss didn’t want to fall in love while Tris was subconsciously afraid of intimacy but was actually open to the subject.

Also, I saw how Tris developed throughout the book and I believe that somehow, she already has a sense of who she is in the end.

Moving onto Tobias. Veronica Roth was right when she said that he was a great character because he has an amazing off-screen life. She was able to craft a character the can live on his own. He had the right mix of “power” and “vulnerability” and either side of him was magnetizing. He was human to me, really and that made him “perfect.”

I also appreciated minor characters more especially Al, Christina, Will and Uriah. Tori and Caleb were portrayed better in the movie for me (because I didn’t like who they really are in the book.) Tori seemed less mysterious and sure of herself in the book (and maybe that’s who she really is). Meanwhile, the real Caleb seemed deceitful and conflicting for me. I couldn’t get a sense of who he is. He’s an actor! He acted all Abnegation-like then he picks Candor… acts cold when Tris comes… sides with his family once the attack happened… acts whimpy and pathetic instead of helping Tris and then I don’t know. (I did feel betrayed by him actually since I was expecting him to have more person in him.) Sorry not sorry, Caleb.
Anyway, story-wise, it was a great concept. Roth used fear in a different style and she did it well. It was also well-written because –duh! It brought a whole new world to life.

I’m looking forward to the next books (though I don’t think I can handle it right now.) 

Biyernes, Mayo 23, 2014

Summer Book List #1: Everyday by David Levithan


Here's just a short short short review. There are a bit of spoilers inside though I don't say how it ends.

“Everyday I am someone else. I am myself- I know I am myself- but I am also someone else. It has always been like this.”

Most touching part of the story: when A was in a body of a girl who was planning to commit suicide and A chose to save her by asking help from the girl’s father. The father who was usually stoic and “cold” broke when he saw the girl’s journal which contained tons of ways to kill herself and a deadline for her life. As the girl went to sleep, the father stayed guard by the door, hanging onto her stirring noises just to make sure that she was alive.

I loved this story for many different factors. First, I appreciated the way it was phrased. It was easy to read, to digest and even the voice in my head it created sounded great. Second, the characters that this book featured were of the minority. In other words, they are the people you wouldn’t expect to be main characters of the typical YA stories. Most were troubled and disabled people. That was a strength of the book – it gave other people voices. Third, the story provided a different view of life. When you know that everything can change instantly, you flesh out the things that matter more. David was able to point out so many universal truths that were under our noses all along.
I’m looking for answers just like A is and a sequel might help (though it can also destroy the beauty of the first book.) I want A to meet other shifters and discover something big… not necessarily a way to stay but maybe the reason why they shift.

Head cannon: Shifters were souls without a body. They used to have a body… they were born with a body but something happen and they lost it. What if they could get it back?

Miyerkules, Mayo 7, 2014

WFS Workshop Day 1: I'm a woman after all.

I never really felt sure of my gender until I had my first "meron". After all, people always associated being a woman with menstruation.

It was a "big deal" for me then because I actually doubted that I was even female! My classmates were already experiencing the change while I waited and got the weird thoughts in my head (like being born an alien). It even got to the point that when my first day finally came, my first thought was "YES! I'M A GIRL! BOOM BABY!" instead of a normal panicked reaction.

And for the several years that followed, that was enough for me. I didn't need any other assurance. I was a woman, biologically and I didn't feel the need to dwell on that matter any further.

But to be honest, I didn't really understand what it meant to be one until the Women's Feature Service Creative Non-Fiction Workshop last May 2 to 4.


I was given the opportunity to attend that workshop in Cavite and it was nothing like what I expected. I've only attended presscons when it came to writing-related events and I thought that it will be just like that (minus the competitions). I didn't think that it would change my life in an instant.

I arrived in school at around 7:00 AM to meet-up with Sir Bruce and Ate Karla (LVX-an). While sitting at the lobby, I read the essays in the e-kit  (because I failed to finish the last three articles that I was supposed to comment on.) As I read, Sir B and I waited for Ate Karla. When she finally arrived, we rode the van to Cavite.

For the two hour drive, I was mostly asleep and trying to move the air-con breeze away from the top of my head. When we arrived at the venue, my mind was still a mess. I wanted to sleep more.

But after a few eye blinks, I adjusted my view and saw how wonderful the wellness center we would be staying at was. Unlike a totally modern and sophisticated design that I anticipated, I was welcomed by a burst of nature... which was a relief on my part. I imagined spas, hot springs and exercise rooms full of yoga things to be a part of the workshop and I wasn't used to those elitist stuff. I'd probably wreck them or embarrass myself if I tried too hard using them. I was more at home with the trees, flowers and a breath of fresh air, really.

View from the entrance of the dining area


Our group arrived first so we had to lounge about at the dining area while we waited for the others. There, we had to learn about the slipper counter thing. We would pick a slipper with a number from the slipper shelf in exchange of our footwear. That would be the inside slippers that we'd use inside the facilities. It was tedious especially if one would do it repetitively but it made my memories at the center more special.

My slippers!
We met Nanay Nyebes (Tita Snow) who was a fellow Lipeno. By then, I was still getting a feel of the place and wanted to stay quiet. The whole place reminded me of a retreat center (that I think it really is) and it was one factor that made me keep the silence.

But instead of letting the awkward air hang and idleness sit in, Ate Karla and I opted to settle in our rooms. We were assigned to Room 12 and I took the bed on the left. Afterwards, we took a short tour around.

Some pictures I took
When we got back, people came pouring in the dining room door. It stunned me for a while when I noted how old they were. If not for two other fellows from St. Scho, Ate Karla and I would feel totally out of place.

Being overwhelmed, I wanted to just observe by the sidelines and not bother the facilitators until they talked to me. But Ate Karla had a different plan. She politely greeted everyone with a "good morning" and she was rewarded with smiles. I admired how she handled the situation then because she managed to reach out.

We ate morning snacks before the start of the workshop. Ate K and I sat in a table for five (?) with some of the facilitators. If I'm not mistaken, they were Ms. Dyosa, May-i and ____. I stayed silent and observed them along with the others.

Sir B went back to Lipa after eating and Ate Karla and I were left to survive.

After the snack break, we went up for the opening ceremony and lectures.

Ms. Marj, Sir B's former teacher, came up first, welcomed everyone and introduced the panelists and other guests. That was when I realized that I was graced with the presence of the best women writers in the Philippines. Published writers and journalists were there and, and... wow! I mean, come on. Ma. Ceres Doyo was just an item in our Prinmed test before and then she just pops into my life... a few meters away!

It was then that I realized how big of an opportunity I had in my hands. Sir B gave me a nudge in the right direction and if I don't mess it up, I could actually get a shot at my dreams.

Ms. Clark took the floor after her to present the objectives and mechanics of the event.

Ms. Clark, one of the activity coordinators
After that, Ms. Olive, the WFS chair, introduced us to their organization.
From left to right: Ms. Olive and Ms. Carrie
We finished early so we had a group discussion on women's issues before the break. That's when I heard most of them speak up, speak up in English. That was amazing for me because the way they spoke alone could bring tears to my eyes. Plus, we were all having intellectual conversations. It was just like a little girl time only I was facing really opinionated and smart girls. And I longed for those types of discussions because it fed my soul.

During the discussion, we came across the topic of a radical feminist and just feminism in general and that was when I questioned my presence in the activity. I mean, sure, I was a woman but I wasn't sure I would qualify as a feminist.

To me, a feminist was someone who fought for women's rights, for gender equality. And though I advocate both, I wasn't outspoken about it. I never felt the need to shout it out since I didn't see that the world is unfair to women. But that was me, in my tiny self-centered world.

Yet, after hearing the opinions of the other participants about that, I was able to give my own definition of the kind of feminist that I am. I'm the story-teller. I'm the feminist that will make sure that stories on women will not be misrepresented. I'll be the feminist that will make sure that there are stories on women and that their voices will be hear. In my silent protest, other women would find their voice. (A/N: Just had a deep moment.)

We went down for lunch after that and the staff served tons of vegetable dishes. I love vegetables so you can imagine what happened next. *wink* But after we filled our plates, we felt like high schoolers again -struggling to find our seats in the cafeteria. We decided to seat with the other two students and just wing it.

If I remember it correctly, Ms. Pinky sat with us too. She actually reminded me of someone close to me. *wink* With her, we talked more about feminism and religion. It was an engaging conversation and at the same time, a strive of de ja vu since even the topics that she talked about was similar to the interest of the person that she reminded me of.

After lunch, the lectures commenced. It started with Ms. Marj's discussion on Autobiography and Creative Non-fiction in general. That was followed by Ms. Grace's talk on Community Papers where she shared the story of the paper they started in their town. Then, Ms. Ceres gabbed about column writing and Ms. Padma about blogging.

To be honest, I didn't give the talks a 100% of my attention for the following reasons: 1) I had to document the events for my WriBrod project, 2) I was getting sleepy again and 3) I was on the mat and my numbing legs bothered me. But I did pick up some things which helped me develop as a writer.

My favorite lecture was that on blogging because I really related to that. Obviously. And it was given by Ms. Padma whom I really wanted to get to know the first time I heard her voice. 
Ms. Padma, probably thinking about something
It was also a way to give back to the speakers since that topic was an expertise of the x generation. That and I'm just really a passionate blogger.

Once the lectures were finished, we had another group discussion on the misrepresentation of women. Again, I was struck with how amazing they were. I was a bit hesitant to speak up (and make mistakes) but I could not not participate with the kind of energy they gave off.

When all the sessions were over, we ate dinner. We still sat with the St. Scho delegates but that time, Ms. Olive sat with us.

Sitting with her was an eye opener because she talked about her corporate life as a journalist and an advertising executive. And for incoming third year AB COMM students, we have to pick out an elective: JOURN or ADVERT. I'm all for journ, still but I think some of my friends would find the sharing of my experience helpful.

Ms. O started as a journalist for a newspaper company. She enjoyed her work and was passionate about it but when it came to payday, the articles that she worked for didn't cover the bills. So she quit and joined an advertising agency. Her job there was hectic and she mentioned squeezing her brain to come up with an original tagline. She stayed there until she was good to retire. But based on what I understood from her, she wouldn't want to come back to advertising again. Instead, she devotes the rest of her days in WFS to continue writing. In fact, she wants to write a book.

Hearing that there is no money in journ from people in school was different from hearing it from someone who experienced the field. I realized that I was too hopeful when it came to entering the writing world, only arming myself with passion against the reality that I need money (in many ways). I also kept saying that I'd enter the creative writing world anyway so I won't have to deal with those issues. But umm... just recently, I was considering entering newspapers too so that plan backfired.

On the other hand, there was advertising. In that career track, Ms. O proved that it's easier to earn there. But the way she described her experiences made me feel as if she wasn't completely happy with her choice. It was as if there's a bad memory related to it. I don't know. But she didn't exactly regret working with ads. She just said that she won't go back to it.

When it came to the end, she didn't pick any. At an old age, she picked writing and just writing. The truth is, you will write in both fields but you'll just use different methods of writing. Both will have perks and consequences and all you should pick is a choice that you won't regret.

I'm in love with journalism, still in love with it, despite all the "mistakes" that I might make and opportunities I might lose by choosing it. I'm in love with journalism, not just because it'll help me write better but also because it stands for honesty and the world might need just a bit of that.

Also, I can't live with myself knowing that I chose something that I'm not passionate for. I would blame myself everyday for that. For me, passion feeds the soul so I consider it more important than anything else. I'll wing it when billing dates come. As long as I strive to be better, I don't think our family would ever go hungry.

After picking an elective, I'll... (A/N I'll continue revealing my career plans in part 2)

Anyway, after dinner, Ate Karla and I bought natural bath products. It was one other rule of the center: using biodegradable products only. In all fairness, their papaya soap was amazing and the shampoo and conditioner smelled great.

Afterwards, we headed to the quarters and talked.

Ate Karla and I aren't really close inside the pub. We were friendly towards each other but we were comfortable with different sets of people. The workshop was the first time we had a one-on-one.

Ate Karla


Truth? I loved her company. We literally talked for hours and whenever the conversation would reach a dead end, she'd think of a new one to talk about.
I also admire how similar and different we were. We could talk about the same books and different sets of beliefs and still be okay about each other.
I was also comfortable around her. I could open up about my personal relations without thinking twice.
Moreover, she was really opinionated which made our conversations stimulating.

After so-so hours, we went down and joined the participants to hang out in a casual context. It was different from the lecture-feels so I didn't know what to do at first. But eventually, I got the hang of it. I didn't share my stories but I listened at them instead. The seniors were so lively as they caught up with each other's lives. They were a bit loud but still classy.

We retired after a few minutes but Ate Karla and I didn't immediately go to bed. We continued sharing stories. We talked about all sorts of books and series! But no matter how I enjoyed the topic, my body was too drowsy. I began zoning out until I fell asleep.

That was how my first day ended. My full realizations occurred on the second day.

Martes, Mayo 6, 2014

Fash Dash: Midterm Exams day

This is the top that I bought recently. I'd like to believe that I was destined to find it.

Top: Black/printed long-sleeve fit blouse
Bottom: Skinny jeans
Hair: Messy loose voluminous bun by my sister