I Crush You

"I feel so crazy! Why can't I just look him in the eye? He must think that I'm an anti-social girl." 
"Why do I care so much about him, anyway?"
"I wish that he will be my group mate for this project!"
"He looks so handsome in that shirt."
"I hope that he'll notice me today."
"He's coming! Ssh."
"I think-- I- I think I'm falling for him."


Him and He. That guy. I didn't even mention a name but I'm sure that there's someone who entered your mind. Someone probably special that became a part of your life. Someone whom you often think about or FANTASIZE about. It's that person who can immediately brighten up your day or bring you down. It's him who can cause you to feel different conflicting feelings.

It's all about Mr. Crush. 


Picture this. You are sitting idly on the school grounds, waiting for a friend or browsing your notes. You planned something that day and you are just on schedule. But then something catches your eyes... or more likely, someone. He's in that ordinary casual attire that anyone should barely notice. He doesn't look that good either. You remember him from somewhere but you can't really recall entirely. And then you see it. The way his eyes catch the sun's warm glow. The way his smile sends out a wave of excitement within you. The way his hair bounces up and down so beautifully. The way you hold each other's gaze for less than a second but it's enough to take your breathe away. From that moment on, you should realize that you have already been Mr. Crush's victim.

Having a crush is like a part of life. I have my friends who say that if you don't experience having a crush, you are abnormal. Crushes are simple attractions. There's one thing about him that you like. It can be a good thing. You'll always feel light and inspired. Having Mr. Crush around can push you to look better, to study harder and to experience KV's or kilig vibes. They'll make your days colorful and more meaningful by just a glance at your direction.

To be honest, without having a crush, my high school life would be as dull as ever. Without him, I would never have had found out that some things that happens in movies can happen in real life. I would never experience happy days in school. I would not get that first dance during my Graduation Ball. I won't treat the number special in one way or another. My feelings for him might be in the past now but I would still thank him for the wonderful memories that we shared.

Unfortunately, there are two CON's on having a crush.

The first one is OBSESSION. When you really really like someone, you want to know everything about him... his family background, his address, his hobbies, his favorite show, his favorite song... etc. There comes the Facebook stalking, the constant observing, and the trying to get closer stage. Then you'd be daydreaming about him and thinking of him constantly. He'll be imprinted on your daily schedule. Soon, the 8:00 studying period will be 8:00 crush daydreaming period. Your attention will revolve on him and you'll do everything for him to notice you. You'll forget everything else. And when you go too far, you suddenly get really hurt. And forgetting him... everything about him will be extra hard. You remember everything about him clearly. You even forgot yourself for him. He became your everything for a brief moment in your life. It won't be easy to let your everything go.

The second one is EXPECTATION. So there he is. In some twisted way, you mind will be able to create a Happily-ever-after for the two of you. And you will hold on to that. You'll begin to imagine things like he's looking at you or he purposely brushed against you. You'll think that he likes you too. And then the feeling of   "simple attraction" seems to be something more. You'll think that you're falling in love. All the signs seem to be there and your heart seems to be ready. But it really isn't. You end up hurting. He doesn't like you that way. Everything that you hoped for was a lie.. because it is. You fabricated it... imagined it. And sadly, it hurts you.

Well, my point is, having a crush is a/an ____________ experience. It can be any kind of experience that you want. It will always depend on you. You can make it wonderful or terrible. It's your blank to fill. But whatever you make of it, it will always be a journey. It will be a part of your life.

I Crush You. Happy Eleven! :)